Relationship Burnout Recovery

Recovering from relationship burnout

While every relationship is unique, here are some approaches that may help you find a bigger space in each other’s hearts again.

1. Connection before correction – It’s easy to lose our sensitivity and compassion in the face of the stressors of life. Slowing down and listening helps us be more intentional with our words and actions, so we’re not simply reactive and say what we don’t really mean. Practicing speaking in a calmer, more compassionate tone, and offering each other the benefit of the doubt can help greatly.

2. Practice curiosity and clarity – It’s important to hear your partner out and honour what they’re saying instead of making assumptions about what they’re saying or what they mean. In my work, I help couples unpack HOW they show up in their relationship (behaviour) WHY they do this (feelings) and WHERE the feelings are coming from (need). When we can understand our partner’s needs clearly we have the opportunity to meet them, taking all the guesswork and assumptions out of it.

3. Prioritise the relationship – Privileging the relationship, not just the family unit means that you do unique things together as a couple that you wouldn’t do with friends and family and which don’t involve the kids. This is what creates the feeling of intimacy, but it’s really easy to stop prioritising each other because you’re so busy with work, kids and other commitments. Bringing fun and spontaneity back into the relationship will help you reconnect and feel like your old selves again.

4. Talk to a professional – When creating an environment of safe communication and breaking out of ingrained patterns and unhelp behaviour is a struggle, seeking professional help can get you back on track. They’ll be able to help you identify your blind spots with each other and see your relationship and acts from new perspectives. It can also help to know you have a dedicated time in your schedule to work on your relationship.